There are few dependable joys left on the planet of air journey: Bulkhead seats, free ginger ale, a reminder that the Downton Abbey film occurred. And for tens of millions of Individuals, there has additionally lengthy been the straightforward pleasure of the Lotus model Biscoff cookie, these rectangular, caramely, subtly spiced shortbread discs which can be handed out in pairs within the signature clear-and-red cellophane wrapper.
The cookies — although the class of the British time period “biscuit” one way or the other appears extra becoming right here — have been regulars through the more and more humble beverage and snack service on airways together with American, Delta, and United for flights of 250 miles or extra. However as USA Right now reported final week, United Airways has introduced it should cease providing the beloved Biscoff, changing the grandmotherly deal with with a pack of snack-chic Oreo Thins as an alternative. In case United’s second-to-last ranking amongst home airways wasn’t motive sufficient to fly with another person, this transfer has sealed the deal for me. I simply can’t belief the security rigors of an organization with its snack priorities so clearly out of whack.
Look, Oreos are a superbly nice on a regular basis cookie and a bingeable masterpiece of a stoned cookie, however they’re a rubbish airplane cookie. The Nabisco firm put out a whole advert marketing campaign in 2011 selling Oreos as “Milk’s Favourite Cookie,” as a result of — and everybody is aware of this — the chocolate and cream sandwiches solely actually come alive when moistened with a little bit of chilly, liquid dairy. However, as I found as soon as mid-flight whereas attempting to sooth a screaming 16-month-old, milk is nearly by no means supplied on airplanes. Biscoffs, nevertheless, staying true to their vaguely fancy European aesthetic, are extra the form of factor you pair with the in-flight staples of espresso or tea — their crumbly sweetness very best for slicing by way of one thing sizzling and bitter. Serving Oreos with no entry to exploit is likely to be an precise type of mouth torture, however Biscoffs handle to sing alongside even the weakest airplane Lipton.
Then in fact there are additionally those that are simply not chocolate folks — preferring the understated heat of butter and spice to the thunderous thwonk of cocoa (or cocoa-like flavoring). What of their high-altitude candy tooth? Pretzels? Please, let these misguided souls have this one small factor.
However the true magic of Biscoff cookies isn’t in what they’re, however what they aren’t: Candy however not crave-worthy, satisfying however not indulgent; scrumptious however not irresistible. Which implies relying on the time of your flight and the fullness of your abdomen, you would possibly simply forego consuming the cookies along with your drink, slipping them as an alternative into some hidden pocket of your bag the place they lie in wait till you bump into them, delighted, whereas scrambling for a pen or for one thing to ply just a few extra moments of silence out of your child. Oreos, nevertheless (sure, even the vastly inferior skinny ones) are a hair too good, too rewarding, too decadent to withstand. Hand me a bag of these and earlier than cruising altitude they’ll be gone, and with them any hopes of delayed gratification.
Simply yesterday I used to be given pack of Biscoffs throughout an American Airways flight dwelling to LA. After I went to stash it away in my backpack for later, I discovered I nonetheless had those I saved from my outbound flight that I by no means obtained round to consuming. Safe with the data I’d not be with out an emergency Biscoff ought to the necessity come up, I opened them proper there and slid one of many cinnamon-colored ovals out of its sheath, snapped it in half, and ate it. Then I shortly scarfed the opposite. Crammed within the second-to-last row of an oversold airplane the place half the passengers wore face masks out of Coronavirus fears, about to descend into LAX after a vacation weekend through the peak of rush hour, that Biscoff break was as near heaven as I may probably think about — even at 40,000 toes.
• No extra Biscoff cookies: United Airways subs in Oreo Thins as complimentary snack [USA Today via The Takeout]

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